Epilogue - Blackfoot, Idaho

EPILOGUE

We didn’t have much opportunity to readjust to the Eastern Time Zone before we had to start traveling again.

On the morning of Friday 28 February, while we were standing on the curb at LAX waiting for the rental car shuttle, Nancy saw Michael’s jaw drop as he checked messages on the phone he had just turned back on. Two hours earlier, while we were still en route from Australia, his sister Julia had sent a text: “Sorry. You’re in the air so I can’t call. Grammie died during the night.”

“Grammie” is Michael’s mother. Her health had been declining and she had been becoming weaker and weaker over the past few months, so we knew she wouldn’t last much longer, but the news was shocking nevertheless. Michael had talked with her Thursday, the night before we left Sydney. The conversation was short, as all of his almost-daily phone conversations with her have been for many years. He told her that we’d had a great time in New Zealand and Australia, but we were ready to come home. And as he has nearly every day for many years, he told her that he loved her.

Grammie took another short phone call that evening from Michael’s brother Phillip, who lives in France. Then she went to bed. Some hours later, she woke up on the other side of the veil.

BernaDean Jones Harward Moldenhauer, 1924-2014
(photo 2012 by Jonathan Gibson)

So, back in Cincinnati, we did our laundry, went to work for a couple of days, repacked our luggage with warmer, more somber-colored clothing, and got on a flight to Salt Lake City. Nancy continued reading Middlemarch while Michael wrote and rewrote the eulogy he would deliver at his mother's funeral on Saturday afternoon.

BernaDean Jones Harward, 1958

We spent the night of Wednesday 5 March in Provo, Utah, with Nancy’s sister Tracy and her husband Stephen. The next morning, we met our daughter Stella and her husband Jason, both of whom are attending BYU, and our son Nat, who had just flown in from New York City, for breakfast at Kneaders Bakery and Cafe, which serves outstanding, all-you-can-eat French toast. Jason and Stella had classes and Nat was meeting with some people he had just hired to work on one of his many projects, so Michael and Nancy spent the rest of the day in Highland, Utah, with Michael’s sister Pat, going over funeral details, sorting through photos, writing a life sketch, and preparing remarks for Saturday’s service. All of this took more time and energy than we had anticipated, so we were grateful when Pat’s home teacher called to say that his wife had prepared dinner for us and they were bringing it over.

The Harward siblings at Cafe Rio

Friday morning we picked up Pat, and then Phillip, who had just arrived from France, and drove to Blackfoot, Idaho, the town where their mother had lived for most of her 89 years. As we passed snow-covered mountains on both sides of I-15, Nancy realized that they were no less beautiful than those in New Zealand. The difference is that in New Zealand, the foothills around the mountains are generally greener, and not so cluttered with housing developments as they are in Utah and Idaho. We stopped for lunch at a Cafe Rio in Pocatello. Phillip, who has lived in France since 1985, not only had never been to Café Rio, but wasn’t sure what salsa was. He found the food "disappointing--very greasy." (We told him that if he didn't want grease, he shouldn't have ordered quesadillas.)

The Hawker Funeral Home was once

 the Blackfoot LDS Tabernacle

That afternoon we met DeEtte (who had just arrived from New Zealand but didn’t seem any more jet-lagged than we) and Julia at the Hawker Funeral Home in Blackfoot. The women had the opportunity to dress BernaDean’s body for burial—a final, tender service we could render to this woman who had done so much for us. Meanwhile, Michael proofread the printed program for the funeral and made sure the slideshow Pat had prepared was ready to run during the visitation later that evening.

Nat with his birthday cake and the mini-Frosties

Mitigating the sadness of funerals for people you love is the joy of getting together with other people you love. Michael’s brother Rocky--the only sibling who never moved away from Blackfoot--and his wife, Dawn, had invited family members who were coming into town to drop by for something to eat before going to the mortuary for the viewing. (This is what Rocky and Dawn do: graciously welcome dozens of people to their home and feed them, despite the fact that their daughter is gravely ill and may have to be flown to Salt Lake City at any moment for emergency surgery.) It was wonderful to be able to visit with children, siblings, in-laws, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and cousins of many generations and removes, to catch up on each others' lives and share memories of Grammie. Later Friday night, many extended family memebers enjoyed eating mini Frosties--one of Grammie's favorite treats--in addition to a birthday cake Pat had made in honor of Nat and a couple of his cousins.

Michael and Stella (with Baby Dobry) at the funeral

The visiting and reminiscing went on among friends as well as relatives during another visitation Saturday morning, and continued during lunch at the church after the funeral service. BernaDean was universally hailed as a hard worker, a loyal wife, a devoted mother, a loving grandmother, a proud great-grandmother, and one heck of a card player. Her family also expressed gratitude for the strength of her faith in Jesus Christ, who has made it possible for us to be reunited with those we love even after death.

Now it's back to normal life for Michael and Nancy. We hope you've enjoyed following our journeys of February and March 2014 as much as we've enjoyed sharing our experiences with you.